How Can You Love Yourself More This Year?

If you’ve ever battled negative self-talk or felt unworthy of love, read this guide to help you understand how to cultivate self-compassion and confidence.

Loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health. But what does it really mean to love yourself? Many people assume self-love is just about feeling good or indulging in occasional self-care, but in reality, it’s a deeper, ongoing practice of acceptance, kindness, and compassion toward yourself. It’s about developing a healthy relationship with yourself, one rooted in self-compassion, acceptance, and growth.

Whether you’re struggling with negative self-talk, low self-esteem, or past emotional wounds, learning how to love yourself can transform your life. Read on to explore practical ways to cultivate self-love, overcome common obstacles, and improve your mental well-being through self-love.

What does self-love mean?

Self-love means accepting yourself fully—your strengths, weaknesses, successes, and mistakes. It’s recognizing your worth regardless of external validation. Unconditional self-love allows you to experience positive emotions, build confidence, and develop healthier relationships with others.

Philosopher and spiritual teacher Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, emphasizes the importance of self-love in shaping our experiences and relationships. He suggests that when we truly love ourselves, we set healthier boundaries, attract better connections, and live more authentically.

Yet, many people struggle with self-love because of negative thoughts, past experiences, or unrealistic societal expectations. If you find it difficult to love yourself, know that you’re not alone—self-love is a journey, not a destination.

Practical tips to cultivate self-love

Loving yourself is an active process, requiring daily effort and intention. Here are practical tips to help you build a stronger, healthier relationship with yourself:

1. Practice self-compassion

We are often our own worst critics. Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, or even self-loathing. Instead of being hard on yourself, practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself with kindness.

Try replacing critical thoughts with positive self-talk or an affirmation like:
“I am worthy of love and kindness, just as I am.”

2. Set healthy boundaries

A key part of self-love is recognizing what drains you versus what nourishes you. Learning to say no to toxic relationships, excessive work demands, or activities that don’t align with your values is an act of self-respect. Boundaries help you preserve your mental health and make space for things that bring you happiness.

When you need to set a boundary, tell yourself:
“My time and energy are valuable. I have the right to say no and protect my peace.”

3. Engage in Self-Care

Self-care is not just about bubble baths or spa days—it’s about prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Simple habits like getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, and engaging in activities that bring you joy can improve your relationship with yourself.

A helpful affirmation when practicing self-care could be:
“I deserve to feel my best, and taking care of myself is an act of love.”

4. Challenge negative thoughts

It’s easy to fall into patterns of negative thinking, especially when facing a hard time. When you notice a negative emotion or thought creeping in, try to challenge it. Ask yourself: Would I say this to a loved one? If not, don’t say it to yourself. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts that encourage personal growth.

To shift your mindset, try saying:
“I choose to focus on the positive and embrace my strengths.”

5. Cultivate mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness allows you to be present with your emotions without judgment. Practices like meditation or loving-kindness meditation can help you develop a deeper sense of inner peace and unconditional love for yourself. Even just five minutes a day of deep breathing and mindfulness can make a big difference.

A grounding affirmation for meditation or mindfulness:
“I am here, I am enough, and I am worthy of peace.”

6. Practice gratitude

Focusing on what you appreciate about yourself can shift your mindset toward positivity. Keep a gratitude journal and write down things you love about yourself—your resilience, your humor, your creativity. Gratitude reinforces positive feelings and strengthens your connection with your authentic self.

A gratitude affirmation could be:
“I am grateful for who I am and all the beautiful things I bring to the world.”

7. Surround yourself with positivity

The people we spend time with influence our emotions, self-perception, and self-worth. Try your hardest to surround yourself with positive people who uplift you rather than those who drain your energy. A strong support system can help reinforce your self-love journey.

When making decisions about relationships, remind yourself:
“I deserve to be around people who support and uplift me.

Common barriers to self-love

Loving yourself isn’t always easy. Many people struggle with low self-esteem, self-doubt, or past traumas that make self-love feel impossible. Here are some common barriers and ways to work through them:

• Perfectionism: Embrace imperfection as part of being human; it doesn’t make you unworthy of love.
• Fear of Judgment: Let go of the need for external validation; true self-love comes from within.
• Guilt or Shame: Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Growth comes from learning, not from self-punishment.

The relationship between self-love and mental health

Studies show that self-love is important for overall well-being. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion studies, suggests that practicing self-love can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress. People who engage in self-compassion tend to experience greater happiness, resilience, and emotional stability.

Other studies highlight that those who practice self-love are more likely to have healthier relationships, better coping mechanisms during hard times, and a more positive outlook on life. Self-love is not just a feel-good concept—it’s a scientifically backed approach to improving mental health and enhancing people’s lives.

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one are struggling with self-love, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides mental health treatment for people dealing with serious mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With support, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.