What Are the 12 Traits of a Narcissist?

Unsure how to identify a narcissist? Here are 12 traits that they often display.

Narcissism is a complex and often misunderstood personality trait that can range from healthy self-confidence to severe pathological narcissism or even narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Those with NPD experience tendencies characterized by a constant pattern of grandiosity, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy, all of which can manifest in different ways. Here is a breakdown of the 12 main traits of a narcissist to get a better understanding of narcissism, how it affects others, and how narcissistic behaviors can be linked to other personality disorders. 

What are the 12 traits of a narcissist?

According to the DSM-5, NPD is a mental health disorder marked by a pattern of narcissistic traits that include excessive admiration, a lack of empathy, a need for control, and fragile self-esteem. NPD is typically diagnosed in adulthood, but its roots can often be traced to childhood experiences. While not all people meet the criteria for NPD, they can still exhibit traits of narcissism that can cause harm to themselves or others.

1. Grandiose sense of self-importance

One of, if not the most common traits of narcissism is a grandiose sense of self-importance, as narcissists often believe they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. Whether through overt narcissism, which is blatant or obvious, or covert narcissism, which is more subtle or introverted, this inflated view of themselves can be seen in their need for admiration and attention. This relentless belief of superiority often leads narcissists to manipulate situations or people to maintain their control.

2. Need for excessive admiration

Narcissists thrive on excessive admiration, often seeking validation from others and exaggerating their successes to gain attention. If their need for admiration is not met, they may become angry, frustrated, or withdrawn, showing signs of narcissistic vulnerability. This trait is most often seen in a grandiose narcissist, as their self esteem is overly dependent on the opinions of others, making personal relationships difficult, as they always demand more than they are willing to give. 

3. Lack of empathy

Another core characteristic of narcissistic behavior is a lack of empathy. Narcissists often lack the ability to empathize with others, dismiss their feelings, fail to acknowledge personal struggles or appear uninterested in the well-being of those around them. This lack of empathy makes them especially prone to manipulative tactics, as narcissists focus on their own needs without considering the impact on others. 

As a result, those in a personal relationship with them may feel invalidated, ignored, or even emotionally drained from constantly trying to meet the narcissist’s demands without receiving any emotional support in return. 

4. Exploitation of others

Furthermore, the tendency to exploit others for personal gain is another common trait of narcissism. Narcissistic people often see relationships as transactions—what can others do for them, and how can they benefit from these interactions? In a narcissistic relationship, manipulation may be used to extract resources, attention, or power from others without regard for fairness or mutual benefit. This can inhibit narcissists from forming and maintaining relationships, as their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires.

5. Sense of entitlement

As partially mentioned above, narcissists believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges and that everyone else is less than them. They often feel angered or resentful when others do not treat them as they feel they deserve, often leading to narcissistic abuse. A sense of entitlement often manifests as haughty behavior, where a narcissist feels that the rules don’t apply to them. This can result in them disregarding boundaries, expecting others to cater to their needs, and justifying taking advantage of situations or people without remorse.

6. Difficulty with criticism

Those with NPD or narcissistic tendencies often react poorly to criticism, perceiving it as a personal attack. Instead of accepting feedback, they may become defensive, angry, or manipulative, trying to protect their inflated self-worth. This specific narcissistic trait is particularly evident in covert narcissism, where a passive-aggressive form of narcissism is present. In these cases, the narcissist may subtly shift blame onto others or use guilt and self-pity to deflect responsibility and maintain their fragile ego. 

7. Envy of others

Narcissists often feel a deep sense of envy towards others who seem to have something they desire, whether it’s success, relationships, or material possessions. They may also believe that others are envious of them, playing into their inflated ego. This cycle of envy and self-absorption can lead narcissists to isolation and a lack of authentic relationships, as their constant comparisons to others and inability to celebrate others’ successes often drive people away, leaving them with shallow connections that fail to provide the emotional fulfillment they crave.

8. Arrogant attitude

An arrogant attitude is another core trait people think of when they hear the term “narcissism”. This arrogance is often seen as treating others with disdain or talking down to them, tied to their sense of superiority and making them feel above everyone else. This narcissistic personality trait is often observed in overt narcissists, who show these behaviors in more direct, obvious ways than covert narcissists. 

9. Excessive need for control

Narcissism typically involves having an overwhelming need to control an environment, especially in personal relationships. A narcissist may attempt to dominate their partners or others in their lives, using manipulative tactics, such as emotional manipulation, to get what they want. They often seek to assert power and influence, disregarding the needs and desires of others in the process. 

Over time, this can create a toxic dynamic where the narcissist’s partner or loved ones feel trapped, powerless, and emotionally drained, struggling to maintain their own autonomy. 

10. Fragile self esteem

Despite their outward appearance of confidence, narcissists actually have fragile self-esteem, which can be easily triggered by perceived slights or failures. This is harder to detect in covert narcissism, as these people may present as vulnerable or sensitive, using their self-doubt to gain sympathy and admiration. When a narcissist’s fragile ego is threatened, they may withdraw or react with passive-aggressive behavior, all while seeking reassurance from others to validate their worth and protect their inflated self-image.

11. Disregard for boundaries

Another common trait seen in narcissism is a little regard for personal boundaries. Narcissists may invade personal space, demand attention at inappropriate times, or ignore other people’s needs, leading to frustration on both ends of a relationship. Over time, this disregard for personal space can lead to resentment, as others may feel their own needs and emotions are constantly overlooked or minimized.

12. Difficulty in maintaining relationships

Maintaining healthy relationships is challenging for narcissists due to their manipulative behavior, lack of empathy, and narcissistic tendencies. A narcissistic partner may fail to offer genuine care and create an environment of emotional manipulation, leading to the eventual breakdown of relationships. 

Their constant need for admiration, coupled with their inability to consider the emotional needs of others, leaves their partners feeling unimportant, unsupported, and emotionally exhausted, making it increasingly difficult to maintain a balanced and fulfilling connection. 

Narcissism and co-occurring personality disorders

It’s also important to consider how narcissistic traits intersect with other mental health disorders and personality disorders. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) shares symptoms with narcissistic personality disorder, such as emotional instability and interpersonal difficulties, but they can also co-exist. Similarly, antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) can sometimes mimic narcissistic behavior, as those with ASPD may lack empathy and engage in harmful actions. 

People with other disorders like dependent personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, or avoidant personality disorder may also exhibit narcissistic traits, which require further diagnosis and treatment.

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one are struggling with a mental health disorder, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for dealing with serious mental health conditions. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With treatment, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.